Thursday, December 11, 2008

Snowy Day, Sweeping the Clouds Away, On my Way to Where the Air is Sweet.........

Today has been sort of weird so far. I'm going to be completely honest here and just say it, sometimes I really don't like my life without anti-anxiety medication. Peyton and Momma say that I'm doing so good all the time, but some days (like today) I really don't feel like I am at all. There are two things it helps with and I struggle with both-anxiety and depression:

1. Anxiety- I am so OCD sometimes and it drives me crazy. Like this morning, I NEEDED to find this website. When I found it I couldn't remember how I originally got to it (months ago) and it drove me crazy. Or the other day, I heard a song that reminded me of another song and I had to find out what it was. To no avail. It made me so upset!

2. Depression-I was once again reading some blogs of people I don't know and came upon this one . It's called the Ripple Effect and it's so heartbreaking. It's about a young mom (just a little older than me) who lost her husband. He died when their son was three months old. You can tell she loved him so much. I just cried all morning. And allowed myself to become plagued with worry.

So, I am going to do some things that make me happy. First, I am going to add an installment to my thankful list and then I am going to post my first Christmas survey. Next post, be looking for my top favorite things about Christmas.

Thankful List (continued):

(by the way, round two of the list may seem a little more frivolous)

6. Kitties-I would probably be way more depressed staying home all day if I didn't have the little Darth and General to keep me company)

7. Christmas things (next post)

8. Spending the whole night in the living room with our Christmas tree in front of the fire and falling asleep there rather than in bed.

9. Anthropologie-total retail bliss, although mostly overpriced and I must resort to the sale room and wearing "loungewear" as actual clothes.

10. Food and Shelter- I am thankful that these necessities are provided for. I'm also thankful for little luxuries--that we get to eat really good food (like chocolate balls and creamy macaroni and cheese and Newks fire roasted tomato soup and that I am able to work hard at making our house "cute" and it is really becoming a "home").

11. DVRs-okay that one is really frivolous, but it is so nice to be able to record and watch at your convenience.

12. blogging-I know I've said it before, but I wish more people did it. I love keeping up with my friends through their blogs and I also love stumbling upon strangers blogs with really interesting and inspiring stories, like the one mentioned above.

13. the ability to read-since I don't work full time, I spend probably at least 25% of my day reading--emails, books on pregnancy, books on parenting, (should read more of the Bible), magazines, ect. I think I must be REALLY hormonal, because I just got a little teary thinking about my amazing teachers at SA that taught me to read and then got more teary thinking about one of my best friends, Ashley, teaching her class to read.

*Is it bad to stop at 13? Haha, I'm not superstitious.......just ask Darth Kitty......the black cat I love so dearly

Finally, a christmas survey:

Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? defiantly hot chocolate, I LOVE IT! Egg nog kinda grosses me out.

Does Santa wrap presents or set them under the tree? At my parents house (where I'll still be this Christmas) Santa puts them all out in front of the fireplace. Only wrapped presents from others go under the tree.

Colored lights on tree or white? White, that's what I grew up with.

When do you put your decorations up? after Thanksgiving, but not too much later.

What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? well we usually have steak and twice baked potatoes for Christmas dinner. Delicious.

Favorite Holiday memory as a child: I have to say decorating the tree with Momma and Daddy and Cookie and listening to Christmas music or waking up and seeing all our presents spread out. It seemed like it was sooo much, even though when we were little it was things like tape and markers and post-its (I loved to play school and office). I wish it was a bit more spiritual, but it's still very special.

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? It's pretty embarrassing. I was really old. Maybe 13. My dad has still never admitted it. He says HE believes in Santa and he asks us not to talk about it. My mom must've had a lot of work on her hands! Just kidding I know he loved playing Santa and getting our stuff ready!

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? nope

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? We have pretty ornaments but also special ornaments that aren't so beautiful they're just sweet (ones we made and stuff). My mom also puts our old baby shoes and drivers licenses on the tree.

Snow! Love it or Dread it? I loved it today, but prob. not everyday.

Can you ice skate? Not well.....I enjoy it maybe once a winter that's it.

Do you remember your favorite gift? My most SPECIAL gift was prob. the cross earrings Peyton gave me one year when we were dating. They are beautiful, but not really fancy. I used to wear them all the time. And since they were crosses, each time I put them on it was a reminder to pray for Peyton and for our relationship. I wore them in our wedding.

What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? I just love the feelings they create and I love the fact that God loved me enough to send his son to earth.

What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Santa Clause cookie cake that my mom makes

What is your favorite tradition? that's tough, I don't really know........decorating, Christmas Eve parties, just being with family......I can't wait for Peyton and I to start our own traditions.

Which do you prefer, Giving or Receiving? well, I think my mom said it best, if it's something I know the person will really like I'd rather give any day (esp. if it's a surprise!)

What is your favorite Christmas Song? too hard to choose, I love almost all carols and a lot of secular Christmas music too

Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? Yum! I ate two today!

Ever recycled a Christmas present? I don't think so, but I may very well have.

WOW! Long post.

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