Saturday, November 28, 2009

There Are No Mistakes

Peyton is in a field where ethical issues arise frequently. I think that that is good for him and good for us. It makes us think and really examine our positions on things. The hardest part of his job, so far, has been the dispensing of one drug. Plan B. The "morning after pill".

When he was at Rite Aid, he used to just "tell a story" and tell people he didn't have it in stock. We discussed this and we decided that this was probably not the best way to confront the situation, obviously most people will just go to another pharmacy and while his conscience is clear, the rest of the story is unfolding elsewhere. So, when he made his move to Walgreens, he came up with a new policy--he would sell the drug, but only after intensive patient counseling. I think that is fair. He keeps his job, but he shares his opinions and most of all the facts, which for the most part, really speak for themselves. Most of the time though, I think, people just half listen and want to get the stuff and get out.

Lately, there have been a couple of cases that have been different. People really taking an interest and some even seeking out his counsel. And then there was one that just really broke my heart.

A lady came in that had been raped. She was very conflicted and asked a lot of questions. Peyton did his best to answer them with grace and sensitivity. He told her his opinion but he also told her that he needed to explain the drug's mechanism and make sure she understood and then she had to decide where she stood on it. But she was very interested in what he thought of it, even asking what he'd do if his wife was raped. Of course, he told her we would not use Plan B, even under such extenuating circumstances.

I believe this so strongly. Abortion breaks my heart in a way that not many things do. Honestly, a couple of years ago, if you had asked me if I could have a stronger opinion on it I would have said no. So, a woman is carrying a rapist's terminally ill baby and the pregnancy is extremely dangerous to her own health? I still thought it should be God's choice, not hers. Period. And, I still do. But I am even more convicted of that as I write this today.

Because of Annie. Ann Peyton was a child (notice I said child, because she was our child, God's child, from the beginning) who we felt terribly unprepared for. She was a child who we felt wholly inadequate to raise. She was a child who, in the early days of my pregnancy, was ::shutter:: entirely unwanted. And yet.

She is our greatest joy (save the Lord). The most beautiful thing in the world. A constant source of delight and a another reason to cherish each day.

I know not every story turns out this well. But I also know that I will never allow anyone to use the words mistake or even accident in my presence when describing a child. And that goes for children that are the product of rape, as well. They are not a "mistake" (of course, the method of conception was a mistake. And a sin. And an atrocity. But the baby isn't.). And God does not create "accidents". They are the beauty that rises from the ashes. They are a testament to His grace. And they are ultimately His.

Peyton asked me a question that night that I was not prepared for. I don't know why it took me by surprise; we know a man who talks with women who are seeking abortions and regularly offers to take the child if they will carry it to term (he hasn't actually been blessed by someone taking him up on his offer yet). So I shouldn't have been surprised when Peyton asked me if he could do the same. I immediately agreed. There would be no greater joy than knowing that we saved a child's life and provided a loving home for him or her. We've always talked about adopting a child with special needs, and if your Daddy was a scumbag rapist, well, it would be great for you to have your needs met in a very special way. BUT, this is not something that I think you can enter into lightly. It's something that I want to be 100% certain I could actually commit to, should someone ever take Peyton up on his offer. So, it's something we will certainly be spending time in prayer over.


Ashley said...

Very well said. I wholeheartedly agree.

PS who did your header? It's cute :)

Pam said...

Hi! I found your blog through the accent vlog link up and just wanted to say that I 100% agree and feel the same way. I'm "worried" that someday down the road will have two dozen adopted children running around ;) but what a blessing that would be!

amanda said...

"They are the beauty that rises from the ashes. They are a testament to His grace. And they are ultimately His."

This. 100%. I wish the world were a perfect place and it were easier for these mothers though. I don't support abortion (or the death penalty), but I cannot claim to have walked a mile in those shoes. I am thankful that God is so much bigger than I and I continue to pay for redemption for those mothers and those children.

I used to think that I was being called to adopt until I was nursing and had lots of time to peruse blogs and found "Our Little Tonginator" She is a god filled woman with two adopted girls, who really does the hard work of parenting with intention. As I read her posts (she doesn't frequently these days as they've just brought their second home), I realize how utterly naive I was and how much there is to learn. I think parents could go into adoption without that knowledge and be successful, but I could never unknown what I've learned. So, I heed her challenge to put my money and energy into keeping families together instead.

Thanks for this.