Saturday, November 7, 2009

Urban Dictionary Gems and Fashionista Hubbykin's Faux Pas

***Okay, so I am going to go ahead and issue a warning here. If you are a Batte lady, if your name begins with a "Gr" and ends in an "anny", or if you are just generally offended by posts that could be filed under "TMI", then you might want to stop reading here. Fair warning....

So, yesterday I subbed at Saint Andrew for a precious little PK4 class and then I met a couple of mommy friends at Mistletoe Marketplace for some holiday shopping (in the 75 degree heat).

Peyton and I were surfing the Urban Dictionary the other night (a favorite past time of ours) and found these gems: momtourage (1) and momversation (2). Well, the best "momversation" of the day occurred as we were leaving and I ran into Peyton's former pharmacy partner. I told Carrie and Ashley that she was Peyton's "ex-partner". Carrie got a very confused look on her face and asked did I mean his ex-girlfriend. I told her that of course that's what I meant, since we in the heterosexual community often refer to our significant others as "partners"...NOT. Well, then we had an amusing exchange about the word "lover" and how it creeps me out to NO END. When they suggested that Peyton and I were lovers, I acknowledged that we were, but much less often than he would like.

Well, after this, someone brought up the fact that I have before alluded to Peyton's homosexual tendencies. Now, before anybody gets any crazy ideas, I'm just talking about in the fashion/style department. (Here's where I get sidetracked, but I need to explain). He has been known to get stares from the probably actually gay guys that work at the Gap because he'll say "Now, really, sweetie, I think the first shirt was much more flattering than second" or "Honestly, you don't need to add another pink cardigan to your wardrobe. You have just overdone the pink" (for my response, insert a Steel Magnolia's quote about "signature colors" here). He also once saw a little (I mean very young) girl dressed in a pretty risque/really "funky" outfit (I know "funky/trendy" can be cute; but this was NOT)--it was like BAD faux fur and hooker boots. He told me that if I "ever dressed his little angel like that he'd kill me". I guess he forgot that I had been very intentional in teaching him what I thought was tacky, in case, for some reason, I meet an early death and he has to pick out her clothes (of course, Minnie would be predominately responsible for that). Anyway...

I need help with my own clothing decisions (I'm SO indecisive) and thus, I've trained him to be very insightful in situations like the aforementioned Gap episodes. But, very insightful quickly became super opinionated. And he had a definite, strong opinion on the car seat pattern we should opt for. Well, I waited too long and it was getting really close to time for AP's big day and we just had to make a car seat decision fast. So, I allowed myself to be coaxed into getting a less than desirable motif (read:heinous) on my car seat. I've grown to appreciate it somewhat and I don't know that I could ever get rid of it entirely, as I am strangely sentimental about these things, and really it would be fine for a bumbly little boy babykins. But, most times the jungle theme feels all wrong for sweet, delicate Ann Peyton. Anyway, the car seat was the reason I even brought up my husband's "homosexual (style) tendencies" (at one of the first times I met these friends, no less....I'm a little embarrassed realizing that).

So, back to the Momversation. Carrie says to me, with a completely straight face, "you know usually when guys have style tendencies like that they have good taste in things". Haha. I laughed so hard.

Except, not quite as hard as I laughed when I got to Peyton's parents house to pick Annie up and she was wearing a sweet romper (FYI, I love the word "romper"; it's such a throwback term to me) in the palest pink with an rocking horse appliqued collar that makes the whole thing rather dressy and very traditional. With, um, FUCHSIA tennis shoes. Right. Another faux pas for Fashionista Papa. I wish I had taken a picture!

On a totally unrelated note, I missed Annie so bad all day and my boobs missed her to a lesser degree and on a more practical level. Ahh, the challenges of a working mom. Except that one day of subbing does not a "working mom" make.

1. momtourage- A group of moms out shopping, eating expensive lunches, or ordering coffee's with long titles.
2. momversation- A conversation between two moms, usually suburban middle class, that is filled with "oh I know"s and "you know what"s. Sentences are stated in an excessively dramatic way, and always with extremely varied tones. Usually takes place in a grocery store or similar area.


The Niemeyer Nest said...

You made me laugh! I love that you, Ashley and Carrie are real life friends. Most of my real life friends do not blog.

Carrie said...

Oh, Sarah Denley. Sarah Denley. You just HAD to put that on the blog didn't you.

By the way, when I saw yall in the car today, the reason I realized it was you is because I recognized AP's carseat in the backseat and yall are the only ones I've ever seen with that seat. No lie.

Ashley said...

I am sitting here laughing out loud. That conversation was worth the entire day, no lie.

The Jungle's just beyond hilarious.

Peyton is your lover.

And then Carrie's comment about recognizing you---not because of the car you drive, but because of the carseat---made me go to the bathroom in my pants.