Friday, January 8, 2010

A Hard Morning for the Babykins (and the Mommykins)

So, Ann Peyton's doctor's appointment. First, I'll go ahead and tell you her stats and get that out of the way.
height: 26 inches (8th percentile)
weight: 14 lbs 7 oz (1st percentile) (You can gasp. Just do it behind my back, please.)
head circumference: 17.48 in (61st percentile)
* Her BMI (which I don't really ever take any interest in) was actually higher today than ever. She was in the 4th percentile today (she has always been BELOW the first until now). Peyton thought that was a good sign.

Well, Dr. Denney didn't freak out or anything. But, it was abundantly clear he felt like formula would be the best and safest thing for our girl now. He was really sweet and could tell how much I had been worried. He reminded me again that I could call his house (it's super fun when you have a BFF whose dad is your pediatrician). He seemed pleased with her progress on all the milestones. We talked about introducing table food. And vaccinations. And the consistency of her poop. Good times.

Then, he told us he wanted to go ahead and do a blood test to make sure her lack of substantial weight gain wasn't anything more serious. He said some people think he is overly cautious, but he likes to ere on the side of caution. And THAT IS ANOTHER REASON I LOVE HIM. He's not going to cut corners. But, it wasn't something they could get with just a finger prick. So, yeah.

I've never really understood it when parents get upset about their child getting a shot. Maybe it's that Annie is so young and has tolerated them so well. But this SUCKED. As in, Peyton and I both having to hold her down while two other people took the blood (I cannot imagine if he had not been there). Really, the ladies were both extremely good and they got a good stick the first time, but had to go again because they couldn't get enough out of just one vein (have I mentioned that she's really tiny? Yeah, that seems to be a problem in lots of instances these days). I think the worst part was how long it took for them to find the vein with that thing squeezing her arm and turning it BRIGHT red. Once they got the needle(s) in, she calmed down a bit. Thankfully, we were able to both hold her still enough that she didn't knock it out. Vaccines were nothing after that.

I think partly I was so stressed, too, because I let my mind go and started worrying about all the things that could possibly be wrong. I guess the whole thing gave me a new sense of sympathy for parents with really sick kids you have to have blood drawn or have IVs stuck in them on a frequent basis. It is not fun.


On a totally unrelated note (except that it also happened today), one of my good friends, Morgan, ask me to go with her to a writer's workshop kind of thing at the library near us.  Initially, I thought no, because 1) I felt like I might need to be with my traumatized baby and 2) I wasn't sure it'd really get much from it. But when we got home, she fell fast asleep, and Peyton didn't have to go to work until the afternoon. He said it would be a great thing to do to take my mind of things and besides "you love writing on your blog!". I kind of thought it would be like a "class" where we discussed techniques and things. Interesting enough.

Well, the thing was NOT what I expected. Instead of a "workshop" it was more like a meeting of real writers from around Jackson, most of whom have had work published, either in a book or in a magazine. I felt, um, out of place TO SAY THE LEAST. Basically, it is just a place where they get together and talk about their writing and encourage each other. We went around and introduced ourselves and talked about our "work" and when it got to me I sort of fumbled around and said I didn't really write anything and "....um SHE dragged me here" and pointed to Morgan. Morgan says "You write every day of your life now". And so I tell them a little bit about this blog. [I also put my foot in my mouth by asking what they all do when one lady admits she has been "published but never paid for anything". They are mostly retired...."Don't we look old???"..........."Well yeah, but....". OHMIGOSH, WHY do I say things like that? It didn't matter, though; they laughed.] Anyway, it turned out really neat and I got a lot out of it.

I may have mentioned this before, but I have always really loved to write. I love to read and I love to write. That is [a part] of why I adore this place so much. I have a whole post halfway written about why I love certain blogs and many of them have to do with the great writing I find there. I don't pretend to think that I'm a great writer and I don't like posts that are too "contrived", but at the same time, in many instances, I do care about "crafting" a post.

There are blogs that I read (and LOVE) that are basically a chronicle of someone's life. And that is fine. And I want that for my blog. But, I want something else, too. This blog has changed a lot since I first started it. I have come to realize that I want my blog to be a place where I explore my feelings on things. Although many posts are a record of an experience, probably just as many are a record of my emotions over an experience. I like that.

I am totally rambling now, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed the meeting. I guess it made me realize that it's time to stop wishing I could be an artist or singer and enjoy this hobby. It's time to see that, even though sometimes it becomes excessive, it is something that brings me a lot of pleasure and thus, is not a waste of time.

And maybe, in my spare time, I'll work on getting something published in a local magazine or something. You never know.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really dint understand why they haven't started supplementing her before now...and I mean supplementing formula with breastmilk.

The Niemeyer Nest said...

I am so glad your pediatrician is so fabulous!

Sarah Denley said...

Anonymous,

I really wish you would leave your name if you are someone I know in real life. The reason they didn't is partly because that was not something I was comfortable with and so I just nursed her more often and fed her more solids (once she started them), per our pediatrician's recommendations. I don't want anyone to think we haven't been watching her weight. We have. All her life.

Katie said...

Girl, your baby is doing great. And God has plans for her!
I don't know if you read the JFP, but they publish a wide variety of stuff. I would love to open one up and see your name!

Sarah Denley said...

Katie, I assume you are referring to the Jackson Free Press? Peyton LOVES it and I enjoy it, too. Do I know YOU in real life?

Ashley said...

I've talked with you (at length) without fail every week for a LONG time now, and I know your heart on this. Also, we've had conversations (along with Carrie) that aren't even blogged about. The people closest to you know your heart and how your thought process has been. You also JUST did a post that explained how you've sorted through things and the conclusions you've come to. Hang in there :)

Carrie said...

I'm proud of you for being willing to do WHATEVER is best for your baby! Good for you! :)

Allison said...

in reference to your writing skills, i actually envy your ability to word things. i don't know if i have a tiny vocab or what (probably), but i have been impressed by your word usage and your ability to clearly express your thoughts (so what if you ramble--who doesn't?). i went back and read ann peyton's birth story after you linked to it, and i think your writing has greatly improved since then! so, obviously, just by writing often, you have become a more efficient communicator. it's encouraging :). my writing skills are terrible!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, didn't mean to offend - it was not meant as a deroggatory comment towards you. In my opinion, she is going to be small because of her genetics even with supplementing or switching entirely to formula. And I understand you wanted to only breastfeed, I am just surprised the doctor didn't want to try adding formula every other feeding or something like that earlier to see if it helped her gain weight. And I've seen babies that are underweight and are hungry - which is totally not the case with your situation!! You have a happy baby, who is obviously not starving - she's just a little small. And my bet is that she stays on the little side her whole life - and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! Again, sorry I offended you.

Christy said...

okay, the anonymous person needs to grow up and own their comment. Just saying.

I am sorry you had a rough morning! Your pediatrician sounds wonderful!

Mary Louis Quinn said...

It sounds like yall have a great pediatrician! I love drs who err on the side of caution. But I'm sure she'll be fine! As I've said before, AP comes from small genes, so I wouldn't think they would expect her to be at the top of the growth chart, even with formula supplementation. And breastfeeding for a year (or even 6 months), whether exclusively or not, is a HUGE accomplishment and one for which you should be very proud!

When we went for C's two month appt before I went back to work, our pediatrician suggested that I may need to supplement with formula if I couldn't keep with her needs by pumping. You would have thought she suggested I feed her poison by the way I reacted! :) It's not that I think there's anything wrong with formula, it's just that it's drilled into our heads that breastfeeding is best, so why wouldn't we want to do what is known to be best for our children? And I guess I just took it as a personal insult that she wasn't confident that I could keep up with C's demand. Of course, if I had to I would supplement with formula, but like you and other commenters have mentioned, I think it's a pride thing. And I don't think you need to apologize for feeling that way. You are a great mom, and we all know you have AP's best interest at heart and you would never do anything to hurt her. Obviously if Dr. D thought it was necessary, he would have told you to start formula a long time ago. So anyone who gives you any negative feedback should realize that.

Ok enough rambling.

Katie said...

SD - I AM talking about the Free Press! I love reading that every week. Always makes me think about something in a new or challenging way.
As to you knowing me, I went to MC too, and I knew who you were, but I don't think I had much (read any) interaction with you. I also went to JA, so I think I knew who you were from seeing you around.
I see your husband just about every time I go to Walgreens, and he is just so sweet and talkative every time I pick up meds.
Keep blogging! I love reading.