Friday, February 4, 2011

SD's Answers (Again!)-- Part Two (Family and More on the Future)


Are you nervous about becoming mommy to 2 kids?
Yes and no. I will say that a big part of why I am nervous is that Ann Peyton was SUCH an easy newborn. My mom used to joke that she was my "play baby" because God knew I wasn't ready for a real one. She nursed easily, slept well almost immediately, and was ridiculously good- natured from the very beginning. Our one issue was the stress about her weight. Honestly, it wasn't until she became mobile that she was ANY trouble. Seriously, there are pets that require more than she did! It goes without saying I am not expecting to win that lotto twice, so in one way I feel like I don't have the experience most moms have already have when they have their second child.

That said, as phenomenal as she was, there have been frustrating times (more with her as a toddler than an infant) and I do feel like a baby, any baby, does a lot for someone like me who has a natural inclination to try to control everything. I feel like you have to let go of being such a control freak and be more flexible or you'll loose your mind, probably daily. My sister told me after Ann Peyton was born that becoming a mother had really changed me. Even though Cookie was the youngest, I could be such a baby about things. I would get super stressed if plans didn't go my way or if we went out to eat at a restaurant and I didn't think I could find anything on the menu that I would like. Things like that just don't effect me as much now. She has done a lot for helping me see things in perspective. So, I do feel like I'm somewhat prepared in that sense.

What's your biggest fear about being a mom of two?
Based on the above, I would say just a fear of the unknown. And getting tee-teed on.

What are you most looking forward to about being a mom of two?
I guess I'd have to say watching them interact with one another. I'm also totally fascinated with personalities, so it will be neat just to see how Annie and Graves are alike and different.

How many children do you and Peyton hope to have?/
How many kids do y'all hope for? We know that we want at least three. I think Peyton is, at this point, pretty settled on three. I really think I'd like four, though, and he's open to that. It's kind of funny actually because whenever we are discussing something and one of us is starting to think on it, but is still unsure we call it a "fourth baby scenario". Like if Peyton asks me to run a 5K or to get a smaller DVR package, I say "I'll think about it, but it's kind of like the fourth baby" (i.e. it might not happen). After I got back from Missouri, though, and he had had lots of special time with Annie, he said he might want more than three!

We've also talked about adoption for our third child. I have ALWAYS, even before we got married, been really interested in adopting a special needs child, but lately we've been talking more about adopting from another high-risk population (a baby of a different ethnicity or a slightly older child, for example). It was so neat when we were visiting Ashley to hear so many details about the process they are going through and the many ways she already feels bonded to their sweet little Korean baby that they don't even know yet!

Have you made a decision on the birth (to be or not to be "natural")? /You've mentioned before about possibly doing a natural birth this time-what are your thoughts lately?
It's funny y'all asked, actually! We actually just had a conversation with my doctor this week. I'm planning on doing a detailed post about the direction I'm currently leaning toward, but I will say this:
1. Dr. McMinn was incredibly supportive of our choice either way. As much as I love her, I was honestly expecting a little resistance and for her to have a clear leaning toward a medicated birth.
2. I still don't think (and probably never will) that it's a clear, black and white issue.
3. I feel much better after talking to Dr. McMinn (and a personal friend who is a brilliant anesthesiologist). Dr. McMinn did bring up one side effect of having an epidural that made me slightly uncomfortable, but I'll address that in the post I do. The funny thing is that in trying to do research ourselves, Peyton and I never ran across this information- even in a two hour documentary that was VERY pro-natural and had a clear bias. I cannot express how thankful I am that Dr. McMinn was so upfront and honest with us about the potential complications and did not seem to have an agenda at all.

How long do you plan to homeschool?
I'm really not sure right now. At this point, Peyton really wants them to attend a public high school. He went to a HUGE high school that had a fairly diverse student body and was also very well acclaimed in many areas- academically, athletically, ect. I went to a private school and also loved it and while that's what I wanted for my children initially, I'm not sure that it is anymore. It's something we've been discussing for years and I really don't see us making a decision until we get there. All that to say, I would love homeschooling at least through the elementary school years.

Someone told me recently to "be sure I kept them up to grade level standards", which I'm sure is a big worry to some people. I know of people who home school that have third graders reading on a first grade level and then I know of others who were way ahead of the game all the way through. I think it's what you make it.

I LOVE that you do cloth diapering and I think I will do the same when we have kids. Is it hard to get used to?
It was really much easier than I anticipated. I attribute that a lot to the "system" and the diapers that we chose, though. Also, laundry just does not bother me. The hardest part is probably that changing each diaper is a little more time consuming than with a disposable, but once you get in the swing of it, that's really no big deal, either!

I have a question, if you don't mind me asking: what have you and Peyton decided is "age-appropriate" discipline?
I'm working on a pretty extensive post about it, but for right now I will say that our main form of discipline is just correcting her in a stern voice. It usually works. We have spanked her several times (maybe ten times in the past few months), but it's not a frequent thing. By the way, a "spanking" at this point, in our household, is one pop on the leg.

(More On) The Future

I know y'all have your NYC plans (which I love!), but if you were to pick another city, where would it be?
I think we would probably both say Washington, D.C. We've been once together, and it was a really neat experience. I'm probably naturally inclined to it because I love history and because, in some ways, it feels like a Southern city. Also, if we were doing this as newlyweds or just as a couple, I feel like there might be other cities I'd be interested in, but it's really important to me now to chose a city that I feel like would have a strong educational component and be very kid-friendly.

Do y'all plan on moving back to Jackson after NY?
Yes! Yes! Yes! I don't think I could move away indefinitely. At least not when the children are young. Being in the same town with both sets of grandparents has been an incredible blessing and I love living where we grew up. It's worth it to be gone for a year (I'd even consider two), but it's not something I'd want to do long term and I think ultimately, for this season of our lives, Peyton would agree.

I'm having so much fun answering all these and I'll finish up next week!

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