Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Work That Sets My Hands- My Soul- Free

I was listening to Wrecking Ball the other day in the car and I was moved by the first song on the album ("We Take Care of Our Own") in a way I never have been before.

Where the eyes, the eyes with the will to see
Where the hearts, that run over with mercy
Where's the love that has not forsaken me
Where's the work that set my hands, my soul free
Where's the spirit that'll reign, reign over me 

These lines have always been some of my favorites from the entire CD. But a year after seeing The Boss in concert and acquiring this album, they seem to have new meaning. 

I feel so confident, more than ever before, that I'm doing the work that sets my hands, MY SOUL, free. I used to struggle with this a good bit. And then there were seasons where I sort of walked through life in a haze. But I've found the work that sets my hands, my soul, free. And I can't tell you how wonderful that feels. It's so, well, freeing. 

I've found it in mothering. I feel like a good mother more often than not. [This is sort of a new thing.] I think part of this is that my children are growing into people with more developed personalities. My primary task in their lives is less and less bum-wiping and more and more soul-nuturing. I relish that. Some days I hate the drudgery of homeschooling and some days it feels me with such deep gratitude that I GET TO DO THIS! I'm watching their minds and hearts develop daily. Graves says new words and I can't get over his new found communication abilities. Annie is learning to think critically, to better articulate her emotions, and to relate to us on a more mature level. A day doesn't go by that I don't have a priceless conversation with her. My friend Kodi wrote a post about "leaning in" recently and I feel like I'm leaning in like never before. "Lean in" is a huge term in the birthy world. I'd dare say most women who have intentionally pursued a natural birth have at least heard the phrase in reference to coping with the pain. For me, that's a big part of it. I'm growing as a mother, as a person, and as a disciple of Christ by leaning into the hardships of motherhood. But I'm also growing by leaning into the joy. 

I've found it in writing in this space. It is one of the most freeing things I do with my time. I've yet to find a way to articulate what it means to me and sometimes I get weary even trying to. I'm deeply deeply grateful to have a best friend who is a writer and the conversations that have arisen between us in recent months. Yet another example of God's provision through this friendship.  It's an area where I just get nervous and embarrassed talking much about it. It's one of a very few areas I feel vulnerable in my life. But if I'm honest, it's come to be a huge part of my life. 

Lastly, I've found it in a new effort to be an encouragement to others. I won't say it comes naturally and I won't say I excel in it, but I do think it's a God-given work and at true calling on my life. I know how deeply I'm impacted by the affirming words of others and I desperately desire to be that voice in the ears of my children, my husband, my friends, and even strangers. 

I have the eyes with the will to see

I am surrounded by hearts that run over with mercy.

I am encompassed by a love that has not forsaken me

I know the Spirit who reign, reigns over me

And now I've found the work that sets my hands, my soul, free.

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