Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Weekly Smorgasbord

Well, Delicious has gone and broken itself. No, I just can't log in and I forgot my password. I tried to reset it to no avail and then emailed the Help service. Nope. I Googled and found out that the company was sold back in May, but "without staff". This can't be good. Anyway, I guess I'll be manually inputting my links. It looks a lot better, honestly. I do wish I had a site where I could back them up all together because that was nice. Oh, well. I lost an hour of my life trying to figure it out and now I'm ready to bid it farewell.

So...links for this week!

On Marriage:
5 Reasons You Should Have Sex With Your Husband Every Night
"There is something restorative about kissing the boy you love. There are times in Riley's arms when I remember who I am before I even realize I have forgotten. Yes, I am a cook, cleaner, teacher, and wiper of all things disgusting. But I am also something more, something delightful and completely apart from my roles. I am a woman! And there is potential and depth and heck, I am pretty darn good kisser, too. It is a lovely thing, finding yourself through the touch of someone else."

Peyton put this on my Facebook and said "delete if you think it will offend the sensibilities of your friends" and I said "having sex every night offends my sensibilities". Honestly, every night seems a bit much. But the article makes some good points and I decided we should maybe kick it up a notch. 

On Accuracy in News Reports:
As Christians, we have a duty to champion the truth. We should avoid spreading unsubstantiated claims and inflaming dread and panic by playing on people’s natural disgust of harm to children. ISIS is an organization that has committed heinous acts of violence and violated the human rights of many of our fellow believers. But we must not partake in the spreading of lies, even if it is against our enemies."

I'm not really sure what to think, but I think there's a change it's untrue and this article makes good points. 

On Mental Illness and Suicide
"First, suicide does not claim anyone against their will. No matter how depressed you are, you never have to make that choice. That choice. Whether you call depression a disease or not, please don’t make the mistake of saying that someone who commits suicide “died from depression.” No, he died from his choice. He died by his own hand. Depression will not appear on the autopsy report, because it can’t kill you on its own. It needs you to pull the trigger, take the pills, or hang the rope. To act like death by suicide is exactly analogous to death by malaria or heart failure is to steal hope from the suicidal person. We think we are comforting him, but in fact we are convincing him that he is powerless. We are giving him a way out, an excuse. Sometimes that’s all he needs — the last straw."

As I told a friend, I've pushed a baby out of my (very small) body without any medication. And that pain does not hold a candle to the sometimes paralyzing anxiety I've experienced in regards to him and his sister (and about a million other things over the years). It's a haunting sort of fear that just grips me and terrifies me with its power. But even on my worst day, I know it's nothing compared to what so many people face. I don't really have words for that. And I didn't really think Matt Walsh did, either. 

"Many intelligent folks have pointed out that suicide is a choice, but one made by a mind submerged in an unspeakable darkness. Suicide is a choice, but one chosen under great duress.  To these people, let me offer this stipulation: of course. Yes. I never said otherwise.But ALL destructive choices are made under these circumstances. ALL. Every single one. The more destructive the choice, the more troubled the mind."

He wrote a follow up post. I think it did clarify some things. He still drives me bonkers and probably always will. That said this was more compassionate and again clarified some things for me. And I think it's only fair to link to the follow up since I linked to the original. 

"Living is the pro-active choice. Is suicide a choice? It has been a free choice every time I have ever said no so far. I have chosen to say no. That is not because we can blindly, arrogantly, say that it is a moral choice, though. It is because I have been really lucky that I am (still) healthy enough to say no. The thing is, saying ‘’no’’ to suicide is evidence that I am healthy enough to say no. But, if I should ever commit suicide, it will not be because ‘’I’’ made the choice, but because my depression would have. Because the depression would have won its battle over me, no medically or morally differently than if cancer had won a battle over me."

Honestly I found a lot of stuff in it that seemed insightful and helpful in framing an understanding of mental illness. That said, I understand how friends of mine that have struggled with deep depression feel like this is a very upsetting narrative, one that robs them of little personal freedom.

"We're the people who say: there's no shame saying that your heart and head are broken because there's a Doctor in the house. It's the wisest and the bravest who cry for help when lost...There's no stigma in saying you're sick because there's a wounded Healer who uses nails to buy freedom and crosses to resurrect hope and medicine to make miracles...There's no guilt in mental illness because depression is a kind of cancer that attacks the mind. You don't shame cancer, you treat cancer...Shame is a bully and Grace is a shield. You are safe here."

I've posted this before, but it's one of my favorite things on mental health I've ever read. Ann's words soothe and comfort, remind and rebuke, and show us a better way forward. Take heart, sick Christians, the good Doctor is in the house!

On the Reality for Black Men in America

"To even acknowledge this line of debate is to start a larger argument about the worth, the very personhood, of a black man in America. It's to engage in a cost-benefit analysis, weigh probabilities, and gauge the precise odds that Brown's life was worth nothing against the threat he posed to the life of the man who killed him. It's to deny that there are structural reasons why Brown was shot dead while James Eagan Holmes—who on July 20, 2012, walked into a movie theater and fired rounds into an audience, killing 12 and wounding 70 more—was taken alive...To ascribe this entirely to contempt for black men is to miss an essential variable, though—a very real, American fear of them. They—we—are inexplicably seen as a millions-strong army of potential killers, capable and cold enough that any single one could be a threat to a trained police officer in a bulletproof vest. There are reasons why white gun's rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children's toys." -from the article

"The double standards, the hypocrisy...I can't. David saw a picture like the one below today and asked me, "what are those bad guys doing to that man?" How do I even answer that? That 18 year old boy looks like every other man on our block and to David, they're people and friends, not threats. That's one of the many reasons we choose to live where we do." - words from my friend who shared this.

I have so many thoughts on this. Pretty sure there will be a full post coming. 

This is the damn Reading Rainbow guy, y'all. When pulled over, the GUY FROM READING RAINBOW sticks his hands entirely out the window of his car to ensure THE OFFICER'S RELAXATIONS and HIS OWN SAFETY. This is our America, guys.

There ya go. Hope something peaked your interest or taught you something new. Or just motivated you to hop in the sack with your sweetie more often =) 

1 comment:

Rebecca said...

I read the sex article a couple weeks ago, and I agree with you, everyday seems a bit much.

I read Matt Walsh's posts last week, and I really did not understand what he was trying to say. The first post made it sound like Christians should just be strong enough (on their own??)to overcome depression. Then in the second post he said that he didn't say that. I just gave up after that because I had no clue what he WAS trying to say. I have experienced depression and anxiety twice in my life, and I know I couldn't have gotten through it without medication.