Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Weekly Smorgasbord

It's been SO long since I've done one of these posts. I actually have a bunch of other links, but I wanted to split them up so it wouldn't be too overwhelming. Anyway, lot of good stuff here!

On Grace:
Posted: 09 Apr 2015 02:48 PM PDT
It seems like it's socially-media acceptable to criticize a particular teacher, blogger, or pastor rather than simply disagree with a piece of their teaching. In the name of sound orthodoxy, it's common to dismiss an entire ministry, organization or book rather than encourage the good stuff, the gold stars and the bright spots.  And I get it. I get the tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I understand the strength of character it takes to tolerate the tension of keeping the good and throwing away the bad. I really empathize with the desire to paint broad brush strokes and write off anything that has played a part in wounding our spirits. Because sometimes when we hurt, we hurt.

On Faith:
Posted: 13 Jun 2015 11:34 AM PDT
"Let's not be so sure—for ourselves or for others—which are the faults and which are the strengths. Sometimes I think only in heaven will we really understand how it all goes together. Only with the long view can we know what is ugly and what is beautiful. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God judges the heart."

On Friendship:
Posted: 06 Jun 2015 12:38 PM PDT
"I don't think it's 'wrong' or 'bad' to surround ourselves with people of the same age and general life stage who can relate and help and be helped and talk things out from a place of solidarity and mutual understanding. Obviously, that's a very good and beautiful thing. But I do feel like, in limiting our friend groups to strictly that kind of person, and in limiting our conversations to all things motherhood, we're missing out.   Missing out on the perspective that can be gained from a person who has been there, done that, survived and thrived, has 20/20 hindsight vision, can impart impartial wisdom. Missing out on the joy of being that for a much younger person, someone struggling through a sour relationship or trying to find their way in life or just needing reassurance that we made it through and past adolescence so maybe they could too. Missing out on the opinions and voices and ideas of people who have chosen a vastly different path in life (or have had it chosen for them) and therefore have vastly different opinions and voices and ideas. Missing out on opportunities to share and learn and grow and help and be helped and inspired and challenged and to have a lot of fun. And, honestly, missing out on the parts of our own selves that get neglected sometimes when we're thrust into the role of being Mom, Mom, and only Mom. "

On Parenting:
Posted: 01 Jun 2015 01:56 PM PDT
"Chase wants to be a human being who is kind and brave and he is already that.  He know that his "success" does not depend upon whether he lands some job or not. He knows he'll be a success if he continues to practice kindness and courage wherever and with whomever he finds himself. Today he is a kind and brave sixth grader and one day he'll be a kind a brave high schooler and one day maybe he'll be a kind and brave teacher or artist or father or carpenter or friend. His roles will change but his character will remain. He is already who he wants to be. So he can just go about being himself forever. Following his curiosity. One Next Right Thing at a time."
Posted: 06 Jun 2015 11:58 AM PDT
"I'm so ready to make a fool of myself. I can't wait to show them it's fun to be terrible at a wide range of things. This is the season to dare, to defer, to read lots of novels in the shade, yes, but to pick up that ball/wear that swimsuit/pedal 'til my lungs ache/order the double scoop and not give a single rip when it drips down my chain and onto yesterday's shorts.
Posted: 13 Jun 2015 11:51 AM PDT
"When my kids were tiny, NO was imperative. NO, don't stick your fork in the light socket. NO, don't run into the street. NO, don't put that in your mouth. But now that my kids are getting older, they know most of these things. Now that they are six and eight, I can slowly begin to give them a longer leash. I can trust them to start making decisions on their own, even if they get it wrong sometimes. Now that they are getting older, my first reflex should no longer be NO."
On Staying Home: 
Posted: 03 Apr 2015 12:19 AM PDT
Interesting. On the one hand, I do get irked by how many people say they "need" a second income to support their family, when in fact, they need a second income to support their family's LIFESTYLE. At the same time, I do see it as a luxury. But I see almost everything we have as a luxury, you know? Two cars? We don't really need that. Our dishwasher at home broke and we're not getting it fixed anytime soon because LUXURY is a working dishwasher. If we're blessed with another baby we'll shove him or her in the room with AP and Graves because having your own bedroom? Too much luxury in the Herrington least right now. [Which was kind of the writer's point.] But this? My vocation? This too is a luxury in some sense. And honestly, in three years when were aren't dependent on Peyton's income either, that will be incredible luxury....but also the fruit of a loft of hard work and self-sacrifice.

On Sex:
Posted: 09 Apr 2015 07:38 PM PDT
"Christians don't know what to do with sex. They just don't. And honestly, I get it. It's not appropriate to divulge every intimate detail of a couple's sex life (Christian or not), and it's really important to be discerning about such a personal thing. However, in trying to shroud sex in a sacred cloak, it has become a taboo; "the thing which is not to be discussed." Where is the balance? Christian sex has become the laughingstock of secular culture and the complete confusion of church culture. We all hear the buzz phrases "true love waits" and "sex is like a fire; it can burn a house down or create ambiance in a fireplace." But HOW does this manifest? What is it really like in a Christian marriage?"

On Work:
Posted: 06 Jun 2015 11:46 AM PDT
"We say the preparation of certain recipes is a labor of love. Making deviled eggs, cooking, peeling and deveining shrimp for shrimp salad or shrimp creole. Twice baked potatoes, as the name implies, is such a dish. Multiple steps of taking food from its most basic form to the sacred point of sharing mean added work."

On Being Present:
Posted: 09 Jun 2015 12:45 PM PDT
"Instead of listing in my head the tasks I need to accomplish each day, I'm trying to float, to prepare myself to be resilient to whatever might come my way instead of trying to head it off before it even happens."

On Homeschooling:
Posted: 10 Apr 2015 09:13 PM PDT
These are very similar to our reasons as well. The flexible schedule and family togetherness are HUGE reasons for me, especially because Peyton's schedule is pretty unusual and with our current schooling situation the kids are home when he is, regardless of the weird chunks of long days on followed by chunks of long days off.

On Learning:
Posted: 13 Jun 2015 12:16 PM PDT
"Once the honeymoom phase fades away, we experience the "dip" and our progress begins to plateau or diminish. This is when most of us quit. The reason why this is important is that if you can predict that a dip is coming, when you're learning anything new, it's easier to fight through it. More importantly, the dip is there because those persistent enough to stick it out can ride the upward wave that is at the end of the tunnel."

On Mental Health:
Posted: 01 Jul 2015 02:12 PM PDT
"And when we haven't developed a strong sense of self — our place in the world, our boundaries, our values — and haven't learned the skills to communicate wants and needs directly, we're more likely to bend and fold ourselves to accommodate what we think others want. Or to manipulate situations and people to get what we want from them. People consciously or unconsciously assign everyone else in their lives a role, explains Lauren Zander, cofounder and chairman of the Handel Group, a corporate consulting and private coaching company. They then devise strategies for dealing with people based on their presumptions about what these people want from them."

On Neat Houses:
Posted: 13 Jun 2015 12:08 PM PDT
"I have a friend who has more kids than me, whose husband works longer hours than mine, who cooks and bakes more than I do, and yet her house is tidier than mine, always tidier than mine. What gives? I decided that this week, it was time to get to the bottom of it: what are the dirty little secrets of those tidy families?"

On Books:
Posted: 09 Apr 2015 02:51 PM PDT
"I feel that way about reading. Sometimes I seek out a book because I need it, like my current reads on parenting and writing. But more often I feel compelled to read a book for reasons I can't discern, and only later find that it's essential to me, right then—not before I started reading it, but after. I pay attention to cosmic hints, including hints about books."

On '90s Kids:
Posted: 09 Apr 2015 02:41 PM PDT
So funny and true.

Noteworthy Quotes from the Week:

Remember, the tone with which you say something can determine whether you are heard. The person's brain is asking "are you for me or against me?" Henry Cloud

"Evangelical culture to men: Biology doesn't make you a man. Evangelical culture to Bruce Jenner: your biology makes you a man." -Nate Pyle 

Sabbath. When we act out our belief that we are not what we do, that our value comes from our createdness, not from what we create." -Shauna Niequiest

Noteworthy Images from the Week:

Enjoy, guys! 

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