Thursday, September 24, 2015


The lady who was supposed to coach Annie's little eight and under soccer team is not able to do it and as a temporary fix, Peyton jumped in and coached the team at their first practice last night. It reminded me of a conversation that I think about at least every few days.

A month or so ago, we were at my parents' house for our usual beans and rice night and Peyton said something to my dad about him being in the king's seat at the head of the table. Daddy chuckled but said "ugh, don't say that". I was intrigued, a bit shocked even, and asked him why. He said he just did not like that kind of stuff. Then he told us about how he used to ask people at his old company not to call him "the boss". He said "Call me "coach" or something. Not the boss. I hate that". 

It brought to mind some recent conversations I've had with a good friend about discipline and authority and power structures in families and what I want that to look like with my crew.

I honestly never felt like Mick was the king of the castle or the boss of our little family enterprise. But he taught us, early and often, to see him as a coach, I think. A life coach before that was a thing, I guess. I certainly think a coach of a team has a sense of authority and commands respect but in an entirely different way than a boss or a king. 

I hope that is how our children come to view us- people who are always rooting for their success and ready to help guide them through their failures, who will help them explore their strengths and weaknesses, and who are more committed to the health and happiness of the team than their own personal sense (and illusion) of power.

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