Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The View from Sunday

Our Sundays have gotten a little better. They are still a hard day for me in a lot of ways, but they have gotten easier and more joyful. Three weeks ago (almost four?!?) I decided I was ready to do the Sunday driving myself. 

We did it! We got up super early (for us) and were all ready for church and out the door by 7:15. We dropped Peyton off and made it to church an hour early for Sunday school. Breakfast in the car and then some fun on the church (Northside) playground (I told Peyton it's not like they're wearing Feltman anymore- my, I have changed a LOT!) and then Sunday school, church, and a longish ride home. A very low key afternoon, early suppers and bedtime routines, and back to get P by eight. I handled the morning driving like a boss and came in just under the wire with my goal to be back in Clinton by dark. I stalled on a hill at a pretty busy intersection, though. Thankfully it's right next to Walgreens because, despite the precious folks behind me who actually backed up a bit (maybe they were some sweet MC students- bless their hearts) I was crying and shaking by the time I got there and Annie wanted to know why I was scared (apparently, I said I was and didn't even know it). Graves was asleep but woke up promptly when Peyton suggested Newks. We devised a plan for avoiding that light and I've practiced hill since then. That night I was very tired and grumpy but also proud and thankful. I told Peyton our backwards life is so funny to me because all I can think is "Is it Monday yet?!?".

This was our second Sunday doing this routine. We dropped Peyton off, but we visited an Episcopal church (that we've visited several times before) back near our house.  I told the kids we might go to the grocery store after we picked up Papa, and Graves let me know he was "afraid he'd bump into things at Kroger" and needed these "insoles" (shin guards) to protect him. I'm sure the cleats had a purpose, too. Also notice the green eraser and the stuffie named "Mayfly Mayfly Gorilla". The only thing that makes this story better? the anxiety he was giving his sister because he threw up in his mouth multiple times from "eating too much toilet paper". Y'all, Sundays are hard.

Then last week. We were back at Northside and it was my first Sunday in a LONG time to really feel "okay". I still feel unsure of where we'll end up, but gradually I'm learning to let that be okay. I'm learning a lot of other things about myself, about community, and about my faith through this search (I'm planning to post more on that soon) and I know that God is working good things during this season of our lives. 

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