Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Babykins #3: Reflections and Comparisons at Thirty Five Weeks

I can so not believe that this could easily be the last of these every five week reflections/comparison posts I write! Actually, I'll be thirty seven weeks this Thursday, so I knew it was time to write this!

First up, the pictures! 

35 Weeks

35 Weeks with Graves and with Babykins #3
(Graves on the left; Sister Baby on the right)




Another week closer!

1. The past two weeks were milestone weeks and so is this one (only one more five week interval, a month left, and full term!). I'm so thrilled to see each one.

2.  I've knocked out so much "getting ready" stuff in the past week or so. We set up (and made up!) the crib. I got everything rehung on the walls in the kids' room. The kids (and my) closets are all changed over for Summer. All the baby clothes are hung up except some stuff that needs washing. I have her pj drawer ready and I even went through the boxes of bibs and blankets and extra bedding and got that organized.  Really all that's left is a box of "gear" and a few bigger things like the Pack n Play, car seat, and swing. 

3. I'm also getting a little (lot) more anxious about the doula-less birth. Now that I've gotten the majority of things ready for when she gets here, I've got to focus on HOW she'll get here. I've been reading some and it is really helping me get in the frame of mind for it and there's a lot of helpful stuff about relaxation. At the same time, I know I want to spend some time thinking about what will personally help me meet my goal of having another unmedicated birth. I have a few ideas, but I need to think on it more and talk with Peyton more about it.

4. We still don't have a name and it's making me a bit anxious, too. Minnie (and quite a few other people) have said maybe we just need to see her. Ironically, these same people (MAINLY MINNIE) keep asking me if she has a name. AHHH. I told her tonight that I thought I'd just be so stressed out and upset over it that it would frustrate me during labor and she was like "Oh, Darling". Someone on Facebook mentioned we could just name her Sister. It would be very Southern. Maybe we'll just call her Sister and Darling (and Daisy and Avocado) so much and it won't matter what her name even is.

5.  I decided that, because of the car situation, this is going to be our last week at church until after the baby gets here. I just don't want to be back at home and Peyton be half an hour away at his store without the car. It makes so much more sense to take a couple of weeks off where he can just drive to work and be able to leave and get right home if I go into labor. It's a little bittersweet, though, because who knows when we'll be back? Three kids will be a lot to manage by myself. I'm hoping it won't take long to get into the swing of things, but I'm also not going to push myself to the point of breaking.

Before anyone feels too sorry for me, there is a certain genuine sadness about missing it, but it's also nice to have a break from what is by far the hardest day of my week in some ways (don't feel sorry for me about that either- there are two parents at home with our kids most of the week; I mean who has that?). The truth is, it's more that I still have a tendency to want to beat myself up over not going. But I know now that there's grace for that. I certainly believe in the importance of having a strong faith community, moreso than ever, but I also know that I can, and will, find God in our backyard, in my children's smiles, and in those newborn snuggles.

[Sidenote: I really need to write a post- or a couple of posts- about landing at Northside. Further sidenote: I really need to join Northside. Again, my faith looks a lot different than it did a couple of years ago and I know there's grace for that.]

6. I know I've shared more about Graves's reaction to this pregnancy and that's just because he's had more. Partly, Annie just has a more subdued personality (which does not mean she's stoic; I think in this case he's more the exception than the rule and he just has a big personality). But it's also because she's just not a baby person.

I didn't share this at the time but when I was newly pregnant Peyton joked that we could "give the baby to someone else". Annie nonchalantly said "that'd be fine". I reminded her that she said something similar about Graves after he was born and how special he is to her now. She told me "it takes awhile-- they have to grow up a little". I did my best to validate her feelings and not make her think I was upset. We discussed further and she admitted that she thinks they get fun between two and three years. She's also, over the years, told me that "her husband" will stay at home with her babies and that when they're old enough she'll wake them up to bird watch with her. But lately she's been hugging my tummy so often and saying "love that baby". I'm so, so happy about that. That said, to be fair, people like Peyton and Annie don't get enough credit. I myself have, at times, inadvertently shamed them because they aren't super into babies, particularly our own babies. But I know a lot of people who would take a perpetual four month old and significantly less people who would take a perpetual two year old. 

I think most people worry about Graves's transition (because he's been the baby so long, because he'll be the middle child, because he's the only boy) but I really think that, for a number of reasons, it'll be harder on Annie. For one thing she's just not as go with the flow. She had a HARD time when Graves was born. Of course she was two. But her personality is still largely the same. And the fact that babies aren't her thing. And the fact that she'll be getting less attention (which  Graves just often sort of demands) and more responsibility (which Graves just often sort of refuses). In the end, I know she'll do fine and it'll be so great for all of us and I can't wait to see her with a baby sister!

I think that's all my big reflections. We'll see if I end up writing a forty week post =)

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