Thursday, December 1, 2016

Inviting Others Into the Mess


I was talking to a friend awhile back about how before Sallie came I had started to actually sort of enjoy doing housework- noticing how the warm soapy water feels on my hands and that kind of thing. But then she came and I nowfeel like I kind of need to rush through tasks again or they won't get done. I mean, for example, I'd like Annie to complete second grade at some point before next Fall. 

I want to live a slower, steadier life but sometimes circumstances necessitate the hustle.

Incidentally, this friend came by our house not long after that conversation. I had planned to vacuum the rug and do a bunch of dishes, partly because I just wanted to have it done but partly because the kitchen was The Real World level disgusting and the opposite of company ready. But I woke up with a headache and Sal was quite the fussy girl and after a wonky week I wasn't really expecting, we needed to get some school in. 


Right before Mal was supposed to get here Sallie had one of those cut the onsie off blow-outs (even before Voluntary Simplicity, I've actually never resorted to that-- my motherhood badges are few and small, but that's one I'll claim). Clearly, the source of the morning's fussiness, bless her heart. I knew the gross kitchen wasn't going to get done since I had a new mess to attend to. Mallory is a Vulnerability Friend, though, so it didn't really matter. 

THEN, though, a friend I see about once a year texted me about stopping by if it was convenient (we had discussed it tentatively). She's super down to earth and just the most precious person and seems to have a grasp on life with kids better than any childless person I've ever known, so I described the day's reality, reminded her that I'm trying to work on inviting people into our mess, and told her to please come! She got here and Graves was eating yesterday's cheese he found in the treehouse and Annie had sliced her finger opening some canned pineapple by herself and Sallie was on a ratty bath towel in the middle of the backyard. 

Our house, and lives, will never be perfect and I used that as an excuse to distance myself from others for too long. I'm so thankful for friends that meet us where we are- in our literal (and figurative) messes.

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