Thursday, December 1, 2016

Postpartum Check In: Five Months Out

SD at Five Months Post-Partum:

- I know a lot of people think newborns are so hard (and Graves was pretty tough) but honestly I feel like it's such a relief from the exhaustion pregnancy brings. And while I know newborns, older infants, and young toddlers all present their own challenges, so far I've felt like it gets progressively more difficult until leveling out around two and a half. 

- Some of this I think is that people are more empathetic and more likely to offer help in the beginning which is GREAT but I think we (at least I) subconsciously send ourselves the same message. I give myself more grace and receive help more easily. But it's also just my particular personality and what I have patience for. It's making me a bit nervous.

- In what I consider to be a divine blessing, P has little patience for infant wailing and sleepless nights but his tolerance for newly mobile infants and toddler destruction abounds. 

- That said, I feel like I'm getting increasingly more healthy (especially mentally) and this seems less and less like a balancing act and like I'm grasping at straws. 

- I basically mention something like this every month. But it's deeply personal to share in that this was a big month as far as really taking a decisive action in regards to Sallie being our last biological child. I said something to one of my closest friends in the world who has helped me process this so much and it was along the lines of "maybe this pregnancy wasn't THAT bad and I was just a big wimp and super dramatic" and she just sweetly said "You passed out and stuff. It WAS hard." P and I had a very similar conversation. The validation from them both helped me a lot to say with finality "I don't ever have to do that again. Nor do I really want to".

Five months out feels pretty soft and sweet!

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