Thursday, February 23, 2017

Throwback Thursday: Heart Attacks + Heart Explosions

I ran across this picture from quite awhile back and just had to share it here along with some thoughts, in list form =)

1. Sweetest pair*.

2. The older she gets the more I see Graves in Sallie but this was the first time I saw Sallie in Graves. Maybe just because he looks like such a baby, but either way it is way more surreal.

3. I about had a heart attack when I woke up and saw this. I was such a ball of anxiety that I didn't share it then but I'm so glad I took it. I found him a few nights later with his duvet wrapped pretty tightly around his head; I can barely trust him to sleep with his own self he sure as heck can't co-sleep with an infant. I work pretty hard at making sure our sleep spaces are safe and while it admittedly looks different from the Angel Care monitor I needed for my anxiety with AP it also looks different from the stupid crap I pulled too often with Graves, like falling asleep on the couch. I'm well aware this isn't it. We had a big talk about how a grown up needs to be watching if he's snuggling with her and if he gets in our bed in the morning it can't be next to the baby (similar to the talk I had with him after I observed him dangling a small toy right over her face while her mouth was wide open cooing- he knows not to give her tiny toys but it didn't occur to him that this too could be a choking hazard).

4. Then I about had a heart explosion. My goodness, aren't they just so beautiful?

5. Heart attacks + heart explosions = much of my motherhood story thus far.

* I mean, besides every other picture I have of him and Annie or her and Annie.

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