Friday, May 5, 2017

Postpartum Check In: Nine Months Out




I was getting ready to post my (way late) ten month PP update and realized I never shared my nine month one!

SD at Nine Months Postpartum:

- I've had some moments where I've REALLY missed having a tiny baby and just hurt thinking about Sallie's first few weeks and months. I love this stage, but I miss the ones that are gone. It took me awhile to get to that point, but I'm really feeling it now that she's pulling up. She seems remarkably toddler-ish and it was slow in coming for the longest time and then felt like it happened over night.

- That said, I am enjoying an independence that I haven't felt in a long time. I can leave her for awhile without a bottle and Peyton is increasingly happy to tote her around places with him. She's gotten even more flexible and she rolls with the punches so well. I still think she prefers me to anyone else, but she's easy to leave with other people. I'm also REALLY loving watching her become more and more a part of the big kids' dynamic. That has happened gradually but also more seamlessly than I expected.

- Speaking of the other two, awhile back, I was discussing with Peyton how interesting it is to me that I connected immediately with both girls but it took me much longer to bond with Graves. One big reason, I think, is because each time my struggles manifested differently. As best as I can articulate it, with Annie and Sallie, I felt fear and sadness, respectively; with Graves it was intense overwhelm. With the girls, I think those feelings prompted me to turn in toward them for comfort and with Graves, I think I turned outward trying to grasp my sanity. There were other factors- Graves was (in my opinion) a much more high needs baby and for some reason, I think I mentally prepared myself more for the girls in some ways. I feel equally connected to all three now but it's interesting to analyze the journey.

- I don't always need to wrap things up with a bow, but it would feel...disingenuous? to not finish up on a happy note. I'm looking so, so forward to Summer with our sweet Sallie girl and to watching her grow and learn new things.

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