Monday, July 31, 2017

Postpartum Check In: One Year Out


[pool bathroom selfie with both my little girls]

I realized that, yet again, it's been over a month and I forgot to share this. And it's the final installment of "postpartum check ins" (SOB). No worries, something similar is coming (today, ha!).

I typically try to write Sallie's letter before I write these but Peyton has still not written hers yet (he promised this was the week). Anyway, here's my last postpartum update from right around when Sallie turned one in June:

- I had a big sob because for a few days, SL didn't really want to snuggle after she nursed at five in the morning and I just had to put her back in her crib for her to go back to sleep. It's REALLY good having her in her own room but I wanted to have the best of both worlds and have her cuddle between five and eight. I didn't give up, though, and she's back at it some (although before she got sick she was sleeping 8-8 straight).

- Overall it's been REALLY good lately. I had forgotten how terribly adorable and charming the tiny toddler stage is. It's so full of preciousness it almost hurts. Minnie describes a time in my own childhood when I called all strawberries "yum yums" and that seems the epitome of this sweet stage. Even Peyton and AP are particularly charmed by Sallie these days.

- I was incredibly surprised but for the first three quarters of this year, life happened at a comfortable pace. And then around eight or nine months, I really started to grieve the fact that I was watching her babyhood vanish before my eyes. Minnie told me once that Bump had told her that it was okay to be sad about us getting older but to remember that the fact that we were healthy and able to move onto the next stage was a blessing many parents didn't have. That said, I grieved it hard (I learned from a wonderful post ages ago on Sorta Crunchy that it's completely acceptable to grieve a good thing and babies growing is, of course, a very good thing).

- But here we are now and I'm having less and less of those sad feelings. Maybe it's because we are beyond the infant stage and while I miss it, we are on the cusp of something that is just delightful. I often forget how good the next stage is when I'm anticipating its arrival because I'm mourning what we are leaving behind. And that's okay. I appreciate the new developments even more.

- As with everything, I'm sure it will come in waves, as does most everything. Hardly anything is linear and this certainly is a prime example.

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